sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
