I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
