you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize