i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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