I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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