He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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