The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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