you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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