At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
