ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
