No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
