And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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