no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
