where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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