Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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