I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
