The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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