Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
