I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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