Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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