just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
