White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize