Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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