doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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