he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
