i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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