you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Randomize
