You know, be my cock's hype man.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
