i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
