Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Found the puke drawer
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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