Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
