I just cut my nipple shaving
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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