whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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