did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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