We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
