if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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