He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
