I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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