How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
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