During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Less talking, more tequila
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize