what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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