I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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