How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
This baby is an asshole
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
