The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
