hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
