God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize