Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
