I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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