YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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