You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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