I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
