well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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