i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
