hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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