Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
