I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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