I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
