weddingsv make me drug and hornr
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
did i just pee glitter
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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