Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
