I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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