I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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