It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
