I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
