At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
