I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
