No awkward lesbian experiences without me
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
